I am a senior; I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.

I don’t have to go to school or work.

I get an allowance every month.

I have my own pad.

I don’t have a curfew.

I have a driver’s license and my own car.

I have ID that gets me into bars and the liquor store.

The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant, and I don’t have acne.

Life is great! I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names.

News story:  Justice Dept. Inquiry into Obama Shutting Down DEA’s Project Cassandra Investigation of Hezbollah Narco-Terrorism

12 Christians praying

11 Good cops cop-ing

10 Trumps a tweeting

9 Men Succeeding

8 Comics joking

7 Armed civilians

6 Russians hacking

5 Whites with no guilt

4 Soyless Lattes

3 Full-time moms

2 Total genders

And a Straight Couple with a Family

On the heels of this week's resignation of Karl Marx as leading figure in the communist movement due to allegations of sexual misconduct, the triggered social justice organizers of the #MeToo collective have claimed the scalp of another progressive icon.

At a press conference, supported by her family and lawyers, a woman named Aisha claimed that she was taken as a bride by Mr. Muhammad when she was nine years old. When asked why it took so long for her to come out, she stated that she feared nobody would believe her since the testimony of a woman is not worth a lot in her social circle. The crying woman also confessed that Mr. Muhammad used to beat her when she displeased him, and she feared physical retribution.

Mr. Beelzebub, the lawyer representing the accused prophet, denied the gravity of the accusations, saying that "everyone was doing it at the time," and that his client "did not remember the situation in quite the same way."

But later that day more stories emerged from other victims, encouraged by Aisha's testimony and resulting in the viral #MuhammadToo campaign on Twitter.

Here are those stories and the worldwide reaction…

Shame that this is only satire. You know that PDJT would love to tweet this gag but he knows he dare not!

Semper Fi!

Veterans Day November 11, 2017

Thanks for the confession, Donna!

Ray Charles’ response to the spoiled brats of the NFL who hate America the Beautiful…

[As a political satire of Woody Guthrie’s lyrics, is there a patriot folk singer who can put this to music for YouTube?]

This land is our land

This land’s not your land

So get out of our land and go back to your land

This land was made for those here legally.

From California to the New York island; From the red wood forest to the Gulf Stream waters This land was made for those here legally.

As I was walking that ribbon of highway, I saw above me that endless skyway: I saw below me that golden valley: This land was made for those here legally.

I've roamed and rambled and I followed my footsteps To the sparkling sands of her diamond deserts; And all around me a voice was sounding: This land was made for those here legally.

When the sun came shining, and I was strolling, And the wheat fields waving and the dust clouds rolling, As the fog was lifting a voice was chanting: This land was made for those here legally.

As I went walking I saw a sign there And on the sign it said "No Trespassing." But on the other side it didn't say nothing, That side was made for those here legally.

In the shadow of the steeple I saw these people, By the relief office I seen these people; As they stood there hungry, I stood there asking Is this land made for those here illegally?

Nobody living can ever stop me, As I go walking that freedom highway; Nobody living can ever make me turn back This land was made for those here legally.

This land is our land

This land’s not your land

So get out of our land and go back to your land

From California to the New York island; From the red wood forest to the Gulf Stream waters This land was made for those here legally.

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

Antwerp, Belgium.  A Belgian advertising agency working for Coca Cola hired an actor to laugh at something he was watching on his iPad while riding the Antwerp metro. 

What happens is joyously magical.  We dare you not to laugh yourself. This is such a wonderful reminder of how beautiful our common humanity is.

Research by the World Health Organization (WHO) in Geneva, Switzerland has proven that eating ham and salami while drinking a glass of red wine at each meal reduces the risk of becoming a Moslem terrorist by exactly 100%.

Note that it must be red wine – the WHO researchers determined that white wine does not have the same deterrent effect as only girly-men drink white wine.

The Hornet’s Nest can be found at #CNNBlackmail

No wonder Mark Steyn says he’s in favor of replacing Jim Acosta with Elmo on CNN…

We need to keep poking them in the ribs until they destroy themselves.  Just be sure you are adequately armed when you do.

To get car insurance in Russia you have to have a working dashcam.  Here is a collection of Russian dashcam video clips that should dissuade anyone from driving there.  Note that these are the good ones where people miraculously don’t get hurt.

As you can see, the President is very concerned over world leaders being enraged.

Yesterday (5/04), Australian Prime Minister met with President Trump.  TTP would like to honor the US-OZ relationship by presenting the most popular song currently in Australia.

It’s a response to a Moslem group called Hizb-ut-Tahrir Australia.  At the bottom of its homepage, you will see its declaration:

“Hizb ut-Tahrir is an Islamic political party that works globally to resume the Islamic way of life through the establishment of the Khilafah [Caliphate] in the Muslim World. In the West, Hizb ut-Tahrir carries Islam intellectually as the solution to the malaise of secular liberalism.”

It’s currently in the Aussie news for calling for Moslem apostates to be executed, and advocating “wife-bashing” domestic violence.

So, enjoy Don’t Bite the Hand that Feeds You!  Hurray for the Aussies.  We need their spirit – and their songs – here in America.

While discussing the rationing of health care under ObamaCare – that Trump can’t seem to get rid of –  with my sister-in-law the other day, I think we have found the solution.  

I am sure you have heard the ideas that if you're a senior you need to suck it up and give up the idea that you need any health care.  

A new hip?  Unheard of.  We simply can't afford to take care of you anymore.  You don't need any medications for your high blood pressure, diabetes, heart problems, etc. Let's take care of the young people.  After all, they will be ruling the world very soon.

So here is the solution.  

When you turn 70, you get a gun and 3 bullets.  

You are allowed to shoot one Senator and two Congressmen.  

Of course, you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head and all the health care you need!  New teeth, great!  Need glasses, no problem!  New hip, knee, kidney, lung, heart?  

Well, bring it on.  

And who will be paying for all of this?  

The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care.  

With all the seniors gathered there, it will be just like a nursing home -- only free. 

And, since you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income tax.

How's that for a politically correct, pragmatic solution?? 

Happy hunting…

Maxine