WASHINGTON, DC — The White House was lit up with the colors of a fanatical cult this week, officially signaling the Biden Administration's establishment of a new state-sponsored religion: Same-Sex and Tranny Worship. The move has received both widespread applause and serious concerns about the First Amendment implications.

Mainstream media sources hailed the move as a significant victory in the crusade for inclusivity and acceptance of all people, except for anyone who disagrees, in which case dissidents should be removed from society. Critics, however, questioned whether the adoption of an official national religion violates the First Amendment.

"Establishing a religion in no way violates the Constitution's mandate that the government not establish a religion," said White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. "Any questions regarding this issue will be considered bigoted, racist, and other horrible things I can't think of right now."

At publishing time, the Biden administration was believed to be in discussions to require all churches in the country to follow suit and be lit up with the same colors in a show of solidarity with the new State Religion. Babylon Bee reporting.

A Czech activist group is auctioning a sculpture of Russian President Vladimir Putin sitting naked on a golden toilet — with proceeds from the sale set to go toward buying a combat drone for Ukraine.

Although the effigy is named “Naked Killer,” everyone in Prague has nicknamed it – given President George Bush calling Putin “Pooty-Poot” – Potty-Poot. It’s the brainchild of Otakar van Gemund, founder of the Kaputin! movement in Prague, and is designed by Czech artist Barbora Zichová. Bids start at €10,000 with the auction closing on December 20. The winner will be the proud owner of the effigy, and have a combat drone named in his honor used to eliminate a group of Potty-Poot’s cannon fodder.

COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 5.6%.

COSTELLO: That many people are out of work? ABBOTT: No, that's 23%.

COSTELLO: You just said 5.6%. ABBOTT: 5.6% Unemployed.

COSTELLO: Right 5.6% out of work. ABBOTT: No, that's 23%.

COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 23% unemployed. ABBOTT: No, that's 5.6%.

COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 5.6% or 23%? ABBOTT: 5.6% are unemployed. 23% are out of work.

COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed. ABBOTT: No, Biden said you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed.

You have to look for work to be unemployed.

COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!! ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.

COSTELLO: What point? ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work can't be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair.

COSTELLO: To whom? ABBOTT: The unemployed.

COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work. ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.

COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment roles that would count as less unemployment? ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!

COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work? ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how it gets to 5.6%. Otherwise it would be 23%.

COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number? ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job? ABBOTT: Correct.

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job? ABBOTT: Bingo.

COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have people stop looking for work. ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like a Democrat.

COSTELLO: I don't even know what the hell I just said! ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like Biden.

HEY ABBBBOTT!!!

This Monty Python skit is over 40 years old – 40 years ahead of its time and funnier than ever today

News report: Knives Out: WaPo, NYT Go For Biden Blood In Scathing Moment Of Honesty

Bruce Willis provides the perfect rebuttal when the race card is played by Samuel L. Jackson in Die Hard 3.

27,000 dead so far is a lot of hearses and coffins

News item: Putin arrests military and intelligence leaders, and purges 150 FSB agents over his Ukraine failure

1. Do you talk about sex with 5-year-olds behind their parents' back?
2. Do you begin sentences with, "Don't tell your parents, but..."
3. Do you encourage kids to cut off their sex organs?
4. Are you a Disney Executive?
5. Did you quit your teaching job after they passed the Parental Rights Act in Florida?
6. Does taking other people's kids to a drag show and calling it a "field trip" seem ok to you?
7. Are you now, or have you ever been, a politician?
8. Have you ever helped a child acquire sex hormones without their parent's knowledge?
9. Does David French think you're a "blessing of liberty”?

Tally up your number of "Yes" answers and consult this chart:

1-2: Oh no! You're a groomer!

3-4: Wow. Definitely a groomer.

5-6: Yep, still groomer.

7-8: There's a Law & Order SVU episode with your name on it.

9: Ok, we're calling the police.