Fallujah Payback

The US military has promised “an overwhelming response” in retaliation for the Fallujah Atrocity of March 30. “Coalition forces will respond,” the U.S. army’s deputy director of operations Brigadier General Mark Kimmitt told a news conference. “They are coming back and they are going to hunt down the people responsible for this bestial act. “It will be at a time and a place of our choosing. It will be methodical, it will be precise and it will be overwhelming.”

Here’s a way to begin.

You take a Humvee and set it up to be remote-driven. You place a dozen Claymore mines along the insides of the Humvee, in front of the radiator, and the inside of the back hatch. The Claymore blasting caps are fiberglass-wired to an SCR (silicon controlled rectifier) and a cell phone, with everything wrapped in insulating blankets of fiberglass. You fill the Humvee with plastic dummies dressed as Marines wearing all their gear and weapons.

200 yards behind the Humvee is a Bradley, which remote-drives the Humvee into the heart of Fallujah, inviting an attack. When the attack comes and the Humvee is stopped and burning, the guys in the Bradley wait for the crowd to pour forth and swarm over the wreckage so they can once again perpetrate their savagery.

As the crowd reaches its frenzied peak, the Bradley guys dial the cell phone in the burning Humvee setting off the Claymores. Each Claymore contains over a pound of C-4 explosive and 700 small steel balls. They have been placed to provide an overlapping 360-degree arc of destruction. In a second, every Fallujah butcher within 150 feet of the Humvee will be literally shredded into tiny pieces.

In a subsequent press briefing, Brig. Gen. Kimmit can explain that the Humvee contained ammunition that unfortunately went off in the fire-bombing of the vehicle. Told it was an accident, the Fallujahites won’t think it will happen again and will plot to attack other Humvees. This provides additional opportunities to shred more of them.

Falluja Delenda Est.