BEVERAGE PRETENDING TO BE BEER FEATURES MAN PRETENDING TO BE WOMAN

U.S. — In a match made in heaven, a beverage that tries to pass itself as beer has hired as its spokesperson a man trying to pass himself off as a woman.

“For decades, we’ve been putting carbonated backwash in a beer can and pretending it’s beer,” said Anheuser-Busch CEO Brendan Whitworth. “Who better to represent our brand than a guy throwing on a dress and pretending he’s a woman?”

Long a staple drink of people who hate actual beer, Bud Light felt putting Dylan Mulvaney’s face on a can would also attract people who hate actual women.

“As a man acting out the most horrendously offensive stereotypes of women, Mulvaney taps into the soul of people who despise real women,” said Mr. Whitworth. “As a company dedicated to serving those who detest real beer, the partnership made perfect sense. The new beer can just shouts, ‘Come, enjoy this atrocious substitute for the real thing’.”