FORGIVE ME, ALLAH!

O Allah, most merciful, most beneficent!  I have devoted my life to being a good Moslem.  I have committed much of the Holy Koran to memory.  I dutifully follow the Five Pillars of Islam: 

I profess the shahadah, that "There is no God but Allah and Mohammed is His Messenger."

I adhere to salah, offering five daily prayers at dawn, noon, mid-afternoon, sunset and evening.

I give zakat, almsgiving to poor Moslems in the amount required, 2½% of my wealth.

I observe sawm, fasting during the month of Ramadan, during which I neither eat nor drink from dawn to sunset.

And I have participated in the Hajj, a pilgrimage to Holy Mecca, and am thus a haji.

All of this I happily do, for I know that Allah is most merciful, most beneficent.

But there is one thing that, as much as I try, I do not understand:

Why, as a Moslem, am I permitted to own slaves, behead infidels, and marry little girls – but I cannot eat a furshlugginer ham sandwich?

Please forgive my lack of understanding, O Allah!

Discuss this item on the forums. Click Here!