LETTING THE PHONE RING WHEN THEIR COUNTRY CALLED

If you look at President Barack Hussein Obama’s job approval numbers and the "right track/wrong track" numbers, it’s hard to see how he can win.

But if you look at the GOP candidates running against him, it’s hard to see how Mr. Obama can lose.

The Seven Dwarves break down like this: There is former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney; five vying to be "Not Romney;" and Rep. Ron Paul, who inhabits a universe all his own.

(There are eight candidates, if you count former Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman.  I don’t, since he seems to be running in the wrong party.)

Mitt Romney is a smart guy who’s been very successful in business, and who wasn’t as awful as Massachusetts governors customarily are.  The pundits who told us last time what a swell president Barack Hussein Obama would be are telling us now that Mr. Romney’s nomination is "inevitable."

But Mr. Romney rarely registers above 25 percent in the polls.  Conservatives distrust him because he seems to change his position on issues almost as often as he changes his underwear.

Conservative concerns were not assuaged when it was reported Romneycare was the model for Obamacare; that Gov. Romney contemplated hiring environmentalist wacko John Holdren, currently Mr. Obama’s science adviser; or when Mr. Romney first waffled on supporting Ohio Gov. John Kasich in his battle against public employee unions.

Others fret about the electability of Mr. Romney, who isn’t the ideal candidate to run when so many are angry at Wall Street.

"He impresses, but he doesn’t inspire or connect," said National Review Editor Rich Lowry.  "There’s a human element that was missing in 2008 and still is."

A "recidivist reviser of his principles," Mr. Romney "is not only becoming less electable, he might damage GOP chances of capturing the Senate," said columnist George Will.

Mr. Romney’s nomination may still be inevitable, because the "Not Romneys" are so weak.  First Rep.Michele Bachmann of Minnesota, then Texas Gov. Rick Perry soared like eagles, then plummeted like stones.

The latest is businessman Herman Cain.  A spellbinding orator and the most likeable of the candidates, Mr. Cain made many conservative hearts flutter, including mine.  But once in the spotlight, he demonstrated an appalling ignorance of foreign affairs, and said remarkably stupid things about abortion, border fences, and his willingness to trade all the prisoners at Gitmo for a single American soldier.

If Mr. Cain falters, as the pundits expect, the next Not Romney up to bat will be former House Speaker Newt Gingrich.  The best debater, he has lots of political experience — and more baggage than Amtrak.  Ron Paul polls better against Mr. Obama than he does.

No candidate can be perfect, or close to it.  But the best we can hope for from this bunch is mediocre. "Dreadful" is a distinct possibility.

Dismayed by this ugly reality, conservatives fantasize.  Some convince themselves Mr. Romney is more conservative, more principled and more electable than the evidence suggests.  Others imagine Gov. Perry is smarter than he appears, or that Herman Cain is qualified to be president.  But there is no Wizard of Oz to give Mitt Romney a spine, or Rick Perry a brain.

The irony is we must choose from this mediocre (at best) field at a time when the Republican bench is filled with intelligent, articulate, principled conservatives who’ve displayed courage and initiative in office.

At the Heritage Foundation last Wednesday (10/21), Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin said the things the GOP presidential candidates should be saying, but aren’t.  His speech was one of the best philosophical defenses of conservativism they’d ever heard, said radio talk show hosts Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity.  Mr. Ryan "is the biggest, thorniest burr in Barack Obama’s saddle," said blogger Ryan Streeter.

But Rep. Ryan isn’t running for president.  Nor are Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell, Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, or South Carolina Sen. Jim DeMint.  Perhaps most conspicuously missing in action:  former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.

These conservatives revere, but do not emulate our Founding Fathers, who risked financial ruin, imprisonment and death to win us our freedom.  If Barack Hussein Obama is re-elected, and the republic the Founders gave us is lost forever, the blame will rest mostly with the A list conservatives who, when their country called, let the phone ring.

Jack Kelly is a former Marine and Green Beret and a former deputy assistant secretary of the Air Force in the Reagan administration. He is national security writer for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.