HALF-FULL REPORT 03/13/09

I plopped onto a barstool at the HFR Saloon and ordered a Maximus.  "So you’re into Double IPAs, eh?" noted the bartender as he served it in a frosty mug.  "Best beer in America," was my response.

"Well, you look like you need a best of something," he observed. 

"What I need is a refuge from insanity.  That’s why I come here – the HFR Saloon is a refuge from the insane asylum America is becoming.  Just today, the big headline in my paper [The Washington Times] is "Obama Vows to Get Tough on Earmarks."  He said this as he was signing legislation that had 9,000 earmarks.  If the nation doesn’t laugh itself silly over that, then we have a nation of retards.

"But maybe the whole world is going insane.  Again today, the guy who runs Blackstone declares that "45% of the world’s wealth has been destroyed" in this global economic meltdown.  What does that mean?  That close to half of all the homes, cars, commercial buildings, all the gold and silver in bank vaults, all the stuff that everybody owns in the world has been demolished?  Is this guy nuts?  And yet it makes headlines.

I paused to quaff my Maximus.  I was beginning to draw a crowd.

"What that Blackstone guy should have said is that a lot of pretend wealth has been destroyed.  And it’s about time.  If we had a real capitalist in the White House instead of some empty suit fascist, he would really not put this crisis to waste.  This crisis could be the end of the line for the world’s greatest socialist enterprise:  pretend money – the boffins call it "fiat currencies" – enforced as government monopolies.

"But instead of ending legal tender monopolization and allowing private competition in currencies, they – of course! – offer a solution that is the ultimate of the problem:  a single world currency!  Again, are they nuts?  And the answer is yes – even Nobel Laureates in Economics have gone insane."

I was getting a lot of stares.  A number of folks ordered a Maximus – "I want what he’s having" they said.

"And they are going insane in a completely fascist way.  Do these "single world currency" guys have any idea of the level of world-wide fascist controls would have to be imposed?  Yes, they do.  That’s what’s behind the war on tax havens.  Liechtenstein caved today.  You can kiss the Caymans goodbye – and the Isle of Man, Monaco, Jersey, all of them. 

"This is why so many US companies are redomiciling to the last man standing, Switzerland.  It’s also why Zero will make every effort he can to destroy Switzerland.

"We’re way beyond Fascism in America, guys and gals.  We’re into Fascism Worldwide."

I ordered another Maximus.  So did everyone else.

One who did piped up.  "Maybe, Jack.  But I think it’s not going to be long until Zero will be called Roland Obama."

We all laughed.  "Yep,  old Tombstone Roland Burris, Illinois’ appointed senator, is polling 5% now," he went on.  "Maybe Zero won’t match that, but he’ll be doing a Limbo Dance with the polls by this fall.  Big time inflation plus unemployment will give us a misery index that will leave Jimmy Carter in the dust." 

"And ya wanna know why inflation is baked into the cake?" this crusty old fellow asked.  "Zero thinks he can kowtow to the Chicoms so they’ll buy his T-bills.  Well, lemme tell ya, they are going to blow through their forex wad before you know it, trying to save their own economy.  China’s exports are off a cliff, down 25%.  Any rebound soon in their economy is a fantasy, as those guys at Bloomberg have figured out.

"So the only way Zero can pay for his trillions of down-the-rathole spending is print phony money:  Inflation City, boys.  Folks on fixed incomes are going to starve."

He held a bottle of Maximus.  "Say, what is this stuff?  It sure isn’t Budweiser."

A thirty-something fellow smiled.  "It’s the ultimate Xer beer – as if you couldn’t tell by the off-the-wall label saying things like ‘Instant gratification is not fast enough!’  Stuff to rattle Boomer cages.  But I notice even the old Boomers in here like it."

A bit huffily, the over-50 set in the bar agreed.  The young fellow continued.

"I know Boomers don’t like my Generation X much, and the feeling is returned.  But you all should read the book that it explains this, Generations:  The History of America’s Future. There are four different kinds of generations, such as Xer and Boomer, that have followed one another in cycles throughout our history.  One thing about it I like is the authors don’t take sides; they explain how every generational type has strengths and flaws.

"We Xers are the generation of extremes.  We’re the heroes and the bums, the Benedict Arnolds and the George Washingtons – yes, George Washington was an Xer – the Al Capones and General Pattons.  We’re the piss-ants, the rebels.  We’re the ones who pulled off the Boston Tea Party – and you sure need our kind of generation for a revolution now."

The crusty old fellow brightened up.  "You mean like these anti-Zero tea party protests I’m hearing about?"

"Exactly!  I hope all you folks are planning to mail your tea bags."

"I heard about that," exclaimed Crusty.  "The idea is for millions tea bags – no note or anything else, just a tea bag in an envelope – to be mailed to the White House in early April so they arrive by April 15."

"Yes.  There’s a website organizing it – and a series of tax protests all over the country on April 15.  It’s taxdayteaparty.com.  And we’ve got a theme song!  It’s by an Xer lady named Kathleen Stewart.  You can’t sit still listening to it, it’s that good.  It’s called It Ain’t Your Money To Spend."

The HFR Saloon’s resident geek started tapping away on his laptop.  "I’ve got it!" he shouted.  He brought up the lyrics on his screen, pushed the button to play.  Soon we were all rocking and singing along with the Theme Song of the Tea Party Revolution.

It Ain’t Your Money To Spend

Lyrics

Don’t spend my grandson’s paycheck. 
He’s only two years old.
With Obama in the White House,
His future’s bought and sold.

Stop this immoral spending spree.
Stop assaulting our liberty.
Let me help you comprehend:
It ain’t your money to spend.

Born and bred for freedom.
Got me a lot of rights.
They’re all but disappearing
Before your fiscal appetites.

You’re taking the fruit of my labor
To give your next-door neighbor.
I’ll say it from beginning to end:
It ain’t your money to spend.

It ain’t your money to spend.
You’re acting like a bunch of jerks.
I’m the one who earned it.
I’m the one who works.

Your income redistribution
Doesn’t jibe with the Constitution.
So I got a little message to send:
It ain’t your money to spend.

You started a spending orgy and then,
You made me long for Georgie again.
You gave some cash to ACORN.
Those folks are so corrupt.

All the pork and all payoffs,
It makes me want to erupt.
Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi,
The scariest folks since Bela Lugosi.

Let me help you comprehend.
It ain’t your money to spend.

It ain’t your money to spend.
You’re acting like a bunch of jerks.
I’m the one who earned it.
I’m the one who works.

Your income redistribution
Doesn’t jibe with the Constitution.
So I got a little message to send:
It ain’t your money to spend. n’t spend my grandson’s paycheck.
He’s only two years old.