KITTY AND ME

Okay, it's time for a fun story.  It is, of course, not fun when someone passes, as Kitty Carlisle did last week (4/17) at age 96.  But it prompts me to reveal how I met her, as it was pretty hilarious.

She was a Broadway and Hollywood actress, but she became a household name as a panelist on the TV show To Tell The Truth, which first aired in 1956.  It was three years later, at age 15, that I was a guest on the show.

You know the setup.  Three contestants, each claiming to be the same person;  four panelists interrogating them and guessing who's real.  Each wrong guess was worth $250.

I was on for being the youngest Eagle Scout at age 12 and the youngest to have climbed the Matterhorn at age 14.  I'm not sure how the producers heard about me, but they thought the audience would enjoy seeing some kid for a change of pace.  Every other contestant before had been a grown adult.

It was the first time I ever traveled by myself, flying from LA to New York, staying by myself in a hotel room.  When I got to the studio, I met two other young guys who were my impostors.  I briefed them so they could know enough about me to bluff – then a thought occurred to me.

"Isn't the object of this game to fool the panel, fool all the panelists so we can win the most money, which is $250 times four or $1000?" I asked.  "So what would be the best way to do this?  I think it would be by my pretending to be dumb.  I have to tell the truth, the rules are that I can't lie, but I can pretend to stumble and be unsure.  You guys act confidant. If all the panelists fall for it, we get all the dough."

The other two guys thought this was a great idea.

It worked like a charm.  When Kitty Carlisle asked me where the Matterhorn was, I pretended to try and remember, replying, "It's in.. it's in… uh… Switzerland."   When Tom Postom asked me how many merit badges does an Eagle Scout have to get, I said, "Ah… 20… no, 21, yes, it's 21."

So when the moderator, Bud Collyer, announced at the end of the questioning, "Will the real Jack Wheeler please stand up!" I rose to the astonishment of the panelists and audience.  I had a big smile on my face, for none of the four panelists, including Kitty Carlisle, thought I was me.

I met her backstage.  She looked at me with curiosity.  I knew she was the smartest on the panel, the one we had to fool, and I told her so.  "I asked myself if you were putting on a stupid act," she revealed.  "But I decided no one would have the chutzpah to do that.  No one ever has before – you're the first."

When I got back home in Glendale, I was very proud of myself.  Then my Mom had a little talk with me.  "Your father won't say anything, but he was really excited about this and invited a number of his friends over to watch the show [it was broadcast live].  Then when you pretended to be, well, not very smart, it was embarrassing for him.  Why did you do that?" she asked.

"To win the money," I replied.  I thought the answer was self-evident.

But it was not self-evident to my parents why their son would be an idiot on prime time national television – on purpose!  So much for my national debut.

I still get a laugh out of it to this day.  Thanks for the memory, Kitty.