YOU KNOW YOU’RE A SYRIAN WHEN…

Having spent the last two months in Damascus, Syria, I have determined through personal experience that you know you're a Syrian when…

…You have a Malcolm X sign on your rear view mirror and think Adolf Hitler was a great man for killing Jews.

…You Love Hezbollah but hate the Lebanese.

…You think all women should be virgins but you want to screw everything that walks.

…You don't understand the concept of a line and think you should always be helped immediately.

…You don't understand the concept of personal space and therefore rub your entire body against the person in front you in the mob that should be a line.

…You wear American clothes, listen to American music, and wait for hours in line for a visa to go to America, yet still somehow hate America.

Damascus is the oldest continuously-inhabited city in the world.  Thousands of years of civilization evidently do not automatically render a place civilized.

Tex Manchester is a former military intelligence officer.