WASHINGTON ON THE DNEIPER

Here I am in Kiev, Ukraine – but in some striking ways it seems I never left Washington. The parallels go way beyond the geography, as both capital cities are on the banks of a large river, the Dneiper (nyay-purr) in the case of Kiev. In both, the political scum dominate public opinion.

Ukraine is the largest country in Europe (entirely in Europe – most of Russia is in Asia). It had suffered as a colony of Russia’s since the 17^th century, and underwent a holocaust perpetrated by Stalin in the 1930s that killed twice as many Ukrainians (well over 12 million) as Hitler killed Jews.

When Ukraine gained its independence in 1991 with the breakup of the Soviet Union, the Soviet apparatchiks (bureaucrats) and nomenklatura (ruling elite) still clung to power. The now “ex-” Communists quickly gained control of the Ukrainian Parliament called the Rada. Socialism, corruption, and selling state assets for a song to apparatchiks and gangsters posing as “biznessmen,” flourished.

The smartest and most charismatic of these “biznessmen” wasn’t a man at all but a good-looking blonde named Yulia Timoshenko. She struck up a “friendship” with a collective farm boss named Pavlo Lazarenko from Dnepropetrovsk who got himself named prime minister in 1996. He promptly seized several energy concessions from private companies and gave them to Yulia’s just-formed Unified Energy Systems of Ukraine (UESU).

Yulia now had a nationwide monopoly on the import and distribution of Russian natural gas (the stuff that keeps Ukraine from freezing in the winter), giving her control of 20% of Ukraine’s gross national product, and a net worth of $11 billion.

Lazarenko is right now in a federal prison in San Francisco for money laundering and corruption involving his deals, among others, with Yulia. But she bought off so many journalists and judges in Ukraine she was never prosecuted. She also proceeded to buy off every politician and Rada member who would take her money – which was quite a few.

When she got into an argument with Ukraine’s “ex-” Communist president Leonid Kuchma about her not sharing her wealth enough with him and his cronies, she transformed herself into a “reformer” and democracy activist, joining forces with the legitimate democracy leader, Viktor Yushchenko.

Stunningly attractive and articulate, audiences swooned over her. Print and television journalists on her payroll ran gushing articles and interviews. She was given top billing along with Yushchenko for successfully leading the Orange Revolution which forced honest elections and the defeat of Kuchma’s designated successor, Viktor Yanukovich, in December 2004.

New Ukraine President Viktor Yushchenko was forced to name Yulia as his Prime Minister. She immediately started grasping for more power, the Rada members on her payroll frustrated many of Yushchenko’s reforms, and pushed through tax increases on business.

When Yushchenko finally fired her last September, she declared all-out war against him. The press began endless stories accusing Yushchenko of “corruption,” tying him to infamous Russian oligarch (and enemy of Putin) Boris Berezovsky. Yulia has formed an alliance of her “bloc” in the Rada with that of “ex-” Communist Yanukovich, and together they promise to win full control of the Rada in the elections next March.

Nothing in Washington are anywhere near as corrupt as in Kiev. Nonetheless, you have a beleaguered president struggling to do his best, an honest and decent man smeared and demonized by traitorous leftwing politicians in cahoots with the media inverting the truth 180 degrees.

Re-read that last sentence: is it about Washington, George Bush, the Democrats, and the leftstream US media – or about Kiev, Viktor Yushchenko, and politicians and the press in the pay of Yulia Timoshenko? The answer is: both.

Now Yulia is backing a move to have Yushchenko impeached. He is the hero of Ukraine and it is she who should be in jail. Yet the public still swoons over her.

One big difference is that Bush has lately been fighting back and hard. Another is that he is lucky to have Dizzy Howard Dean as the leader of the Democrat Party.

Unless Yushchenko starts fighting back hard, this is going to end badly for a country that has seen far too much tragedy in its history. All witches are not ugly. A spell has been cast upon Ukraine by a witch as evil and corrupt as she is beautiful and rich. As a witch, Hillary can’t come close to Yulia. Maybe we should be thankful Washington is on the Potomac, and not on the Dneiper after all.

Ps: If you’re asking why I’m in Kiev, I’m not at liberty to say right now. But when I am, you’ll be the first to know.

Pss: If you want to know what the Witch of Ukraine looks like, here’s a magazine cover of her: