ABU GHRAIB AND TFM

The most personally frustrating aspect of the Abu Ghraib folies is that over a year ago I submitted an interrogation method to the Pentagon that was foolproof, immediate, effective, and humane.

It’s called TFM Interrogation, utilizing a nutritionally-engineered diet of Tryptophan-Free Meals. A TTP article discussing the method is now posted in the Classics section.

If the interrogation teams at Abu Ghraib and other detention centers had used TFM, the Red Cross could have been observing and taking all the pictures they wanted. Yet the Saddamites would have sung like canaries.

Instead, the interrogators chose far less sophisticated techniques. Some of them can be quite useful. The photos with the dogs, for example – this is a time-tested Irsaeli way.

When a Palestinian terrorist is captured, how many Israeli lives can be saved depends on how quickly and efficiently Shin Bet (Israeli Security) agents can make him squeal. They strip him naked and sit him in a chair with his legs forced apart. They bring in a large Doberman pincher whose muzzle is placed inches from his genitals. They explain: “This is Herman. Herman is a very unusual dog. Herman can smell when someone is lying. When someone lies, it gets Herman very mad. And when Herman gets mad, he bites – really hard. So we suggest you tell us the truth.”

Works like a charm. Just make sure no one is around with a camera.

Nonetheless, TFM is far more effective. Read the article in Classics and you’ll see why.